Last Updated on August 5, 2015
Today I was asked by a woman I know a few questions pertaining to relationships and the challenges that can arise in relationships. There was also mention of spiritual practice, and self definition, and maintaining that within a relationship. I felt moved to write the following. It is was quite an extensive reply I am sharing it with you now.
This may end up being Part 1 in a series of articles, so I have called it Part 1. A link to any other parts will be placed here if I write more on this topic.
Let’s now take a look into some reality based principles pertaining to relationships… to the masculine and feminine sides of awareness… to the nature of the male and female expressions of Man… Let us take a look at what might be aptly called Yoga of the Beloved…
I don’t feel to attempt answering many of the specifics in your questions. I feel that to do that it would be better to meet you in person and share on a broader and deeper level. My path is primarily about approach. It is an internal path of a particular way to approach Life and All-That-Is, which in my experience is life-giving and allows for a fuller participation in our innate freedom and creativity as Man.
You mentioned finding it hard to maintain a “spiritual practice”. From my point of view–one focused on approach as opposed to an outcome–I place less emphasis on “practice” than perhaps other “yogic” and “spiritual” traditions and schools of thought to. That is not to say that having a spiritual practice is not important or of value. Rather it is that from my point of view spiritual practice is not about attaining anything. It is simply, and at times profoundly, another way — albeit a very refined and potentially penetrating way — to participate more fully in That which IS from the perspective of being Man. There is a difference. Maintaining a spiritual practice of this kind and quality, I find, is easier and less prone to perpetuating a state of separation internally and thus outwardly. In my observation, every attempt we make to attain, achieve, change, and so on, is simply more energy or life-force invested (and diverted) into the illusionary perception that we are not whole and complete right here and now… that we are other than Divine… and into the illusion that my world as I am currently projecting and subsequently perceiving it is not perfectly configured (right here and now) to allow me to participate fully in the true and magnificent nature of That which I AM.
As you may derive from that last statement, in my perception of Life, Man has dreamed into being a world that is configured perfectly for his/her full and absolute awakening into the body… into matter… mater (in Greek)… into the Mother. That is the Yoga/Union of Mother and Father… from which the Son (or Daughter if you prefer) is born or emerges. The I AM in-carn-ates… to be in-the-flesh…. and that which we call God finds its perfect living expression through That which is extending out of God, as Man. Viewed from the other direction, we are each dreaming into our experience a world that is perfectly configured to awaken our matter, our cells, our body, into the full experience of our Divine nature in the Heart of God. Same dynamic, from two directions… Heaven or spirit descending and blending into Earth… or Earth ascending into Heaven. Either way, what we refer to as Spirit and Matter coalesce in Divine union.
There are, in my experience, dynamics that play out in relationship which for the most part take place unconsciously for most people. Simply and briefly put… What I observe is the cosmic dance of the Feminine and Masculine sides of Awareness. Both male and female Man embody these two sides of awareness. That which we call Male (from the body of view of the body-mind) externalises the Masculine principle and therefore takes on an emasculated physical form… whilst the Female externalises the Feminine principle… and manifests that as an effeminate form. What this means is that the Male has internalised the feminine, and therefore the feminine is unconscious in the ordinary male. The opposite applies to the female. The ordinary male at this time in human evolution will therefore experience the feminine side of awareness primarily through the females in his life… through all that is relatively feminine in his world, which will ideally include Mother Nature. The closer the female is to him the stronger she will re-present his internalised feminine for him. Again, vice-versa for the female in relation to the male. Each will be presented with their own unconsciousness in that way. Through this dance both fulfil the Evolution of Awareness in the grand scheme of Life.
When male and female come together in Love (when they commit to cooperating intelligently) they become for each other the externalised aspect of awareness that they themselves internalise and are unconscious of. Thus… the female becomes the doorway to the feminine side of awareness for the male… and vice-versa. It is in this way that male and female Man can co-operate in a way that is life-giving… that is intelligent. Each support the other to participate more fully and holistically in their true nature.
The feminine by nature has one foot in what might be referred to as the Unknown and one foot in what might be referred to as the Known. Much like the moon… she always has has one side in the dark or in the vacuity… facing out into the great Unknown, toward Infinity. The Sun is luminous in all directions… so relative to the feminine (to the moon) it is entirely in the light… in the Known… that which is seen and has form. Yet, on its own, this puts it out of touch with the darkness… with the Unknown. One consequence of this is that in our currently masculine dominant world Man (male and female) has an innate fear of what we consider to be darkness. We suppress and deny all that constitutes our shadow… that which we judge as dark and wrong within us. Most of the common spiritual paths and teachings (again they are orientated toward the masculine side of awareness at this time in history) I am familiar with tend to deny much of life… and tend to push Man away from the darkness… the shadow… an Man fears those aspects of Self… thinking they will corrupt him/her. Nothing could be further from the truth. All life must eventually be embraced. This is the Way of the Heart within Man. Thus is what I share as Hṛdaya Yoga… or Yoga of the Heart. The Cosmic Heart (Hṛdaya in the transliteration of Sanskrit) is that capacity within Man to be inclusive toward ALL Life… both the form and formless sides of Life.
The Sun (as a metaphor for the masculine) must look to the Moon (the feminine) for access to the unknown. The moon must look to the Sun (the feminine looking to the masculine) for her sense of definition within the Known. It is in this dynamic that they can intelligently cooperate. The feminine assists the masculine in fulfilling His purpose in mapping out the Known… yes, it will be within His purpose to map out some particular aspect of the Unknown into the Known. The feminine in supporting the masculine in this purpose, is supported in fulfilling her purpose through the masculine providing definition… much like a glass provides definition for the water put within it, or flicking on a light in a dark room gives everything in that room greater definition, or the light of the Sun giving the Moon definition. Neither can fulfil their purpose without the other. The two are mutually and completely interrelated and interdependent. They are, of course, two relatively qualities of the same One Awareness.
One practical and important point that can be derived form the above paragraph is that it is important who the female select as her male partner. She will, whether she likes it or not, be supporting his purpose one way or another, and unless his purpose is congruent with her own she will feel displaced or spiritually unsettled in the relationship. It is also important for the male to choose a partner who’s purpose is in alignment with his own, otherwise he will feel like he is not supported or met in some way and will tend to wander from the relationship looking for another expression of the feminine elsewhere.
It is important to note that to the degree that the male and female are unconscious of their own nature, they will gravitate into relationship with a partner who through their interaction with each other will bring about pain and drama in their worlds. There is nothing wrong about that… this pain… the drama or stories that emerge are the very thing that (when approached appropriately… with consciousness) will bring each of them into greater consciousness of That which is Real…. beyond the stories and drama. This is what might be referred to as karmic completion. I think that most relationships at this time are karmic completions. Karma, in my world, equates to unconsciousness. Here, and Now…. though I realise “karma” is more easily rationalised and understood when viewed as something extrapolated out through time… past, present, and future. That gives rise to the idea that “you did something in the past (which was “sinful” or a “mistake”… thus unconscious) and you are experiencing the consequence of that now. Sin, in Greek is sine… which simply means “to miss the mark”… as in an archer missing the bulls-eye on a target… much like the word mistake… it is simply a mis-take on reality.
As the male and female expressions of Man (men and women) awaken to their own nature, the quality of relationship they attract and co-create will become more and more conscious… subsequently it will have less and less pain and drama and fictional stories playing out. The male and female will in fact assist each other to awaken within the body (within the flesh and cellular and light structures) and thus to bring into conscious expression the side of awareness they are internalising. So… the female will assist the man to bring into consciousness the Feminine side of awareness, and vice-versa. Each then becomes a living expression of both sides of Awareness (internally hermaphrodite). In this way we have the Union (Yoga) or Marriage of the masculine and feminine within Man (the male and female… “man” and “woman”). That, from my point of view, is the Great challenge facing Man (male and female) at this time… throughout time.
I could continue on this topic. I don’t wish to though. I feel the above might at least be adequate for you to get a feeling for my approach to relationship… since the challenge of relationship seemed for me to be the crux of your questioning.
I recommend reading my book. It explains at least some of this in more detail. Although it is the third book which will specifically address relationships. It will be called Empowering Relationships. You can get the first book (Peace, Power, and Presence) easily on Amazon.com or any other online book seller.
There are also many articles on my web site exploring some of these topics.
From my perspective, the challenges you are facing are perfectly aligned with your awakening into the body (physical and subtle). Only YOU can face those challenges and claim the gifts of Power they each bring in their and your own unique way. My role in all this, by virtue of you seeking advice from me (and only for so long as you seek such advise, unless some other time-frame is decreed on the Inner by you, me, and/or Infinity), is to simply elucidate empowering Reality-based Principles that may make facing those challenges easier, less of a struggle, and ultimately more empowering.
This is the conclusion of this piece of writing. I may write more on this topic. In the mean time if whilst reading this questions came to mind please feel free to ask them.
Recent Comments