Last Updated on December 11, 2011
I am sure you’ve heard the moral statement, “Love thy neighbour as you have him love you”, or “Treat your neighbour as you would have him treat you”.
I wish to explore this briefly and take a slightly different look at it.
What I feel moved to share is that for most it would be far better to actually let this whole idea go. Rather than trying to love thy neighbour as you would have him/her love you—I would suggest the following.
“Love yourself as you would like you neighbour to love you”. “Treat yourself as you would have your neighbour treat you”
I am aware that for many it has become quite normal to treat their self harshly. It has become normal to carry around self-judgement, self-criticism, self-defeating feelings, self-hatred even, and an ongoing lack of total loving self-acceptance. How many people, for instance, look in the mirror in the morning and feel a really deep sense of love and acceptance toware what they see? I feel the answer to this question is quite clear.
Hence, if I am a person that looks in the mirror with judgement, denial, self-judgement, and criticism, then the idea of “treating my neighbour as I would have him treat me” is somewhat rediculous. How could I ever really, deeply expect my neighbour to treat me any better than I treat myself—and, therefore, how is treating him like I’d have him treat me (through my unloving image of myself) ever be of any service to him/her? If I judge and think/feel badly toward myself I think it not possible that I could ever deeply feel others not seeing me in this same tanished way.
Therefore I would like to suggest that living by the principle of “Love thyself as you would have the world love you” is far more appropriate.
I’d like to explore that a little.
If I am a man—deep down in my heart how would I like a woman to love me? My mother, my partner, etc. How would I honestly have them love me if I could choose? How would I honestly choose to have other men love me and treat me? What sort of love would I ultimately want from my Father and male friends? Just how would that feel? How would they see me? What sort of thoughts would I have them think of me?
Anyone in their right mind—I am sure—would certainly want other’s to have the highest thoughts and feelings toward them. I know I’d want all people to see the best in me, to foster my strengths and forgive my weaknesses. Yet before I could ever truly, authentically, want that for other man or woman, I must first be able to feel that way toward myself—for in this grand Story there is only that ONE SELF.
I would suggest that once a person masters loving and treating themself as they would wish others to love and treat them, the innately “their cup would runneth over” and this love would extend out into the world in such a way that nothing could stand in its way.
I invite you to sit with this. To feel what this would be. To feel how this might feel? I would it feel to totally love and accept all of who you know yourself to be? What would that be like if it were true RIGHT NOW? Sit with it. Breath with that feeling for a while.
With love and blessings,
Jonathan
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