8 min read

Last Updated on December 11, 2011

Following is some discussion I have been having with a friend…

Her message (in part) was…

—–Original Message—–
Sent: Wednesday, 20 October 2004 7:01 p.m.

… You say, for example in ‘your world’ what I wrote was of value. In ‘my world’, that was not my experience. If we are all in ‘our worlds’, engaging with our stories, where and when does the bridge occur? (I’m not referring to you and I specifically here).
Where and when and how does relationship enter between worlds and what is the potential if each person is taking responsibility for their part.

My answer to this first part…

This is not so easy to answer as I feel it has to be experienced. What I will say is this — the nature of the relationship between two or more people is determined by the relationship those people have to Self and to God. Hence, anything is possible. For he who is identified with the ego-mind the nature of his relationship to another person will tend to very much revolve around the perception that they are out there. They do things TO ME and I can do things to them — including judging them and summing them up in my mind.

For he who is identified in and aware of the nature of much of what I attempt to explain in my writings it becomes far more probable that he will experience the perceived “other” as an aspect of Self. Hence nothing happens to me and I only do things to myself as opposed to projecting out to an-another.

Relationship, in my experience, is the vital element that makes waking up entirely possible. The flip side of that, however, is that unconscious relationship is also that which makes it so easy to remain in what seems like a never-ending spiral of confusion and avoidance.
When I refer to “relationship” I am referring not only to the relationship between a person and other people, but also between a person and anything that they perceive within their world.

Also, it was nice to hear that you believe what I said to be of value, it helps change my world experience. I don’t like communicating into what feels like a cyber void, & I notice I feel more-at-ease.

And this is where I get murky in my beliefs…because from what I understand, your view is that what any-one else thinks about me, is ‘none of my business.’ What I think of me/what my relationship to me and my story and what arises is where my power and ability to respond lies. And yet, my ‘humanness’, at this point in my life needs/desires/wants approval, affirmation, support, love, deep connection and right now I feel those things are essential to my well-being… to talk, share, have affection, play… and that puts myself at the whim of how others think of me/treat me, because I am affected by it, deeply at times.

I would be lying if I said I transcended that…. sure I can observe what arises in my story about my relationships and ask God for healing or whatever as necessary, and yet I don’t want to be alone in my experience of this life…so I’m back to my original question of where does connection enter our world stories and within the roles we play for each other….and I’m also aware that ‘alone’ (All One) is perhaps exactly what I do want to experience of this life and I’m resisting it.

My response…

“And yet, my ‘humanness’, at this point in my life needs/desires/wants approval, affirmation, support, love, deep connection and right now I feel those things are essential to my well-being…to talk, share, have affection, play”
— So having identified this apparent “need” within your story what is your response? How do YOU respond to that apparent “need” ?

Do you respond with the belief that this is something that must and can come from outside of YOU or do you respond with the knowing that it must come 100% from you?

As the Kahuna would say, “As a Divine Being your only need is a mirror. You have no other needs than that. Wherever and whenever you believe you have some other need then this is indicative of where you’ve forgotten your Divinity”.

Now, based on what you have told me, I understand that in your experience it feels like this need is there. In my experience that emotion (energy changing state and in motion) is there because of how you relate to yourself and the beliefs you hold about yourself… Beliefs that only exist as a result of forgetting the Truth of What Is. That is neither good nor bad. It is what it is and you are perfectly entitled to create a story where this experience appears to be. Yet, if it is not congruent with your Divinity then it will eventually cause you pain or something other than deep Peace and Joy. Such as when “I am affected by it, deeply at times” arises in your experience.

The Ego-mind is Exo-centric (a word I’ve come up with in recent years)… in that from the Ego’s point of view everything is “out there” and I (the ego) are either being attacked by what is out there or launching an attack on what is out there (judgement being one form of attack). Exo-centrism also maintains the illusion that what I am is centred around the things in my world “out there”.
The I AM is introcentric. The whole world is IN HERE and the world as I experience it and perceive it centres around that which is within — my core Self.

So back to my question…
This need that you think/emote that you have: What choices do you make around that? What actions do you take?
I would say that in identifying this false notion about yourself the key is to lovingly hold this within the awareness that the ONLY place you will find the “approval, affirmation, support, love, deep connection” that you feel you are missing is WITHIN YOUR SELF.
The world, in your experience, will then MIRROR those things to you and you will perceive yourself to be loved, approved of etc by the apparent world “out there”.

If you DO NOT embrace these things within — loving, accepting, approving, affirming etc yourself — then the world will mirror that also and you will continue to feel like you are a victim to the world by being “at the whim of how others think of me/treat me, because I am affected by it, deeply at times.”
What you are being deeply affected by is your own attack on yourself. It is the ego (a false notion of self that has no true existence) that is attacking you through the world “out there”.

What other people think of you is only your business if you make it so. If there are certain situations where you make it so then I would suggest that those are indicative of the “areas” within your story/dream/life where you have not yet come to place of deep truth and knowing about who and what you are as a Divine Being — As an extension of the Creator.
That is neither good nor bad. It simply is — within your story. In the eye’s of God it is nothing…

To answer your last question…
In my experience the “deep connection with others” that you talk about ONLY really comes about to the degree that I have deep connection with my Self. Most people create an illusion for themselves where they are only “deeply connected” to their story — their false sense of self. And hence that’s what they usually connect to within an-other when they feel deeply connected to someone or deeply in love with someone. Once the truth starts to come out they realise they “Fell in love” with an illusion and then they are faced with the truth — which can be painful if it is resisted… And it usually is.

I recognised very early on in my life that there it was futile to be trying to do things in the world and seek out connection with people and the world so long as I was still living in a false and only partial relationship with myself. So I spent many years focused primarily on my self… Unravelling my story… Releasing many of the lies and self-deceptions, and unconscious patterns that I was holding within my mind as contructs and thought-forms. In terms of biological time it took me from around age 14 to about age 28. The process is still underway to some degree… But as far as I can tell the major work was done in those years. Then a turning took place… I ceased to feel so at dis-ease with my self… And then ceased to feel so at dis-ease with others. Suddenly the world and people and nature and God and everything “out there” took on a beautiful quality. I am now (for the most part) able to deeply connect with people, life, nature, etc and feel deeply at peace in that connection. I can be PRESENT and in the moment with life and the people I meet. I cease to take on so much of other people’s illusions and stories. More and more I see right through those stories. One day their story will cease to exist in my world… And hence my story about myself will also cease to exist. It never did exist actually. That’s when the Vision of God enters ones awareness and Christ consciousness comes to Be here in form.

With love,

Jonathan

Spread the love